Believe In Your Confidence - Dr Maria Edunsin - Counsellor | Psychotherapist | Motivational Speaker | Humanitarian | CEO & Director #248

Empowering Creativity Through Diversity with Dr. Maria Edunsin

In this episode of the Us People Podcast, host Savia Rocks welcomes Dr. Maria Edunsin, a counselor, psychotherapist, and CEO of Empirical Global Initiative. They discuss the importance of creativity and diversity, sharing Dr. Maria’s inspiring journey from Nigeria to the UK, and her experiences growing up and becoming a mental health advocate. 

Dr. Maria emphasizes the significance of finding oneself, the power of resilience, and the importance of understanding and balancing professional and personal life. They delve into deep conversations about human behavior, trauma, vulnerability, and the misconceptions surrounding psychotherapy. 

This episode is filled with insightful discussions on personal growth, mental health, and the impact of social justice in therapeutic practices.

00:00 Welcome to Season Five
01:15 Introducing Dr. Maria Edunsin
02:37 Dr. Maria's Background and Journey
05:26 The Power of Self-Reflection
14:01 Balancing Professional and Personal Life
17:40 The Journey to Becoming a Counselor
22:23 Understanding Human Behavior
35:04 The Role of Silence in Therapy
38:19 Stripping Away the Layers
39:23 The Concept of Judgment
42:26 Respecting People's Stories
52:17 The Power of Decision Making
56:42 Finding Your Purpose
01:05:31 Closing Thoughts and Farewells

Thank you so much Dr Maria for showing us, that life give us gifts and we must see the confidence within ourselves.

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maria-edunsin-7606675a/

Happiness is having the confidence, to understand your wrongs, but having the faith to do right - Savia Rocks

Transcript

Believe In Your Confidence - Dr Maria Edunsin - Counsellor & Psychotherapist, CEO of Your Pinnacle Global Initiative

[00:00:00] Savia Rocks: Hey guys, we made it to season five of the us people podcast. I'm your host Savia rocks. And in this season, we aim to empower and embrace creativity through diversity as we dive into the fascinating stories and experiences of a diverse range of individuals. Highlighting their unique perspectives and creative endeavors from artists and entrepreneurs to innovators and activists.

[00:00:25] We celebrate the power of diversity in driving creativity and fostering positive change. Join us as we engage in thought provoking conversations like, I made myself intentionally homeless in pursuit of my purpose. 

[00:00:41] Jay Harris: We're aware that. A lot of people want to present and they, and they were in my position and what's worse, they weren't a white male, which is a joke.

[00:00:48] That's even still a thing. I 

[00:00:49] Mel: think my family never ever say you can't do something. So full of support, full of support for whatever dream. If I said tomorrow when I fly to the moon, they'll probably say, I wish you all the best Mel. 

[00:00:59] Savia Rocks: So [00:01:00] guys, I just want to say thank you for supporting the Ask People podcast for the past five years.

[00:01:06] I really look forward to sharing another new theme song. With you. Let's go.

[00:01:15] Dr Maria Edunsin: Hi, my name is Dr. Maria Edunsin, and I'm a counsellor psychotherapist. I'm also the CEO of Empirical Global Initiative and a mental health advocate. And you're listening to Ask Me For Podcasts. Stay tuned.

[00:01:35] Savia Rocks: Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the yes people podcast. I'm your host, Savya rocks. And today I am humbled to have Dr. Maria here with me. She is a counselor, a psychotherapist, the CEO of your pinnacle global initiative, a international mental health NGO. Dr. Maria is also a humanitarian and a mental health advocate.

[00:01:58] Even when I say that the second [00:02:00] time, I'm still like, wow, Dr. Maria, thank you so much for taking your time to come on the Ask People podcast. How are you? 

[00:02:09] Dr Maria Edunsin: I'm fine. Thank you so much for inviting me. And yeah, I'm looking forward to today's session and just, you know, sharing, sharing the space with you. And thank you so much once again for the opportunity and just, you know, just to give that platform to be heard and to share.

[00:02:25] What we do and who I am, what I stand for. 

[00:02:28] Savia Rocks: I love that. I completely love that. I can see this is going to be a refreshing conversation. So you can kind of tell in the beginning where this is going to go. So I really like this. So, Dr. Maria, my first question for you is Could you tell me about yourself, where you grew up and how that influenced you to be the person who you are today?

[00:02:52] Dr Maria Edunsin: Okay. Thank you. Well, first of all, um, I'm Nigerian and my, both my parents are from Kwara State, [00:03:00] but I, I was born in Lagos, but I've been here in UK. Since I was, since I was like three years old and I grew up in London, I grew up in London, I went to primary school in London, I went to secondary school in London, South East London, we moved from North London and then we just kind of worked our way through the South East and then into Kent.

[00:03:20] Um, and that's where I grew up. Um, and then when I, Um, when I felt pregnant, actually with my first son, I decided not to play my child in London. I decided not to, I don't know why. I just felt that I wanted a different environment for him. Um, and then I moved to Manchester. So currently I am in Manchester and I've been in Manchester now for 17 years.

[00:03:41] And I lived in London for 19 years. So I do go back to London once in a while. And when I say once in a while, I literally mean maybe every other month, you know, um, So yeah, London will always be home and Manchester is just a bit of a different atmosphere for me. And yeah, [00:04:00] you know, so it's just, it's just been a, it's been a journey that in itself, it's a different transition in terms of, you know, the lifestyle.

[00:04:07] And the environment growing up in London and then coming to a more quieter area and just finding myself. And I think one of the reasons I moved is because I wanted something different for myself. You know, it came to a point where, you know, London sometimes felt like, you know, same thing, different days.

[00:04:24] Yes. But I wanted, I wanted more. And I just thought, you know, where can I go? Funny enough, I called my mom and told her, Mom, I'm pregnant. And she, she's a nurse practitioner. Yeah. And she retired now and she was like, Oh, I'm in Manchester. Come and meet me. I'm like, where's that, you know, and then she just, she just said, don't worry, I'll send you a ticket.

[00:04:43] Just calm down. And that's how I came to Manchester. Um, so, but obviously growing up in London, I grew up in a very British environment. Um, my, my parents were very African at home. But I kind of managed to adopt both and kind of took out the convenient culture side for me. [00:05:00] Um, and you know, kind of blended it with the British side of me.

[00:05:03] So I'm, yeah, I'm British Nigerian. 

[00:05:05] Savia Rocks: I love that. I can see that. That's one of the things I love is even though you're, you've been born somewhere else. You are still able to embrace the heritage of everywhere and bring it into one and nurture it into who you are. I love that. I completely love that. My second question is one of my favorite questions to ask the guest who comes on the show.

[00:05:30] So can you define who you are as a person, but also who do you see when you look in the mirror? But on the flip side of that question, Has there ever been a time where you have looked in the mirror and not recognize the person staring back at you? How did you manage to go from a person that you may not have liked the vision of to becoming the person that you feel has purpose?

[00:05:54] Dr Maria Edunsin: Thank you. Well, that is a very powerful question. And I've always been a true believer of finding yourself [00:06:00] 

[00:06:00] Savia Rocks: from a 

[00:06:00] Dr Maria Edunsin: very young age. And I think even to now, We are all still on a journey of trying to find ourselves. Um, and when you were asking the question about looking in the mirror, I think in the process of looking in the mirror, I was able to ask myself, who am I?

[00:06:14] What am I supposed to be doing? Um, I actually, I thought I was going to be an actress at a theatre school in Kent. And, you know, and all those attributes actually has been convenient for me even till now. You know, in order to, you know, be keynote speakers for events and just be able to approach people and just, you know, really be myself.

[00:06:35] So I've always had this finding yourself mentality. And for me, there's an exercise that I do as a counselor where, you know, I tell clients to look in the mirror because I had to do that. I had to find the person within, um, and look beyond the external and look beyond, you know, outside, but literally start to dig from within.

[00:06:57] And I think that's where I found myself and I'm [00:07:00] still finding myself. And that's one thing I love about that transition is that. We are so much. We are. There's so much to us. There's so much potential. There's so much embedded in us that you can keep finding yourself to tomorrow to to your 100 years old and you still won't finish finding yourself and and that explore, you know, exploring yourself even at that level takes a lot of, um, humbleness, I think, because you need to get ready for the person that you're trying to meet.

[00:07:29] Who might be different from the person that you was, and I think the person that I was was someone who was lost and I said I used the word lost because, you know, again, a bit of cultural conflict in terms of expectations from family. Um, culture and religion as a Christian that I am. And at the same time, it's almost like there was a time when maybe my parents wanted me to behave like a Nigerian African girl.

[00:07:55] But because we were brought up in London, it's like you've never sat me down to [00:08:00] tell me how. To be a Nigerian African girl, you know, I'm just going with the flow and I'm just taking every bit of everything and, you know, all of that becomes me. But within that, you still have to remember that these are just influences.

[00:08:14] They're just factors. They're environmental factors. They are, they are expectations and society factors. it's really hard to separate yourself from that and find a place where it can just be you with you and and that is where the looking in the mirror comes in hand because you are faced with you and you can ask yourself questions.

[00:08:33] You can ask yourself questions and you can look deep into your, your, your, your eyes. And it's, it's a very hard thing to do, especially when you carry pain, um, in your soul and in your spirit and in your heart. Um, it is a very hard, difficult thing to do to look in the mirror and, you know, go past those pains and those experiences and still try to dig through who was still behind that.[00:09:00] 

[00:09:00] In, in a lot of cases, there'll be a very. An innocent, young, childlike person version of you behind that, but you have to help them come out so that you can become one again, if that makes sense, so that you can become one again and you can help that, that, that inner self. They realize that this, we made it this far.

[00:09:22] You know, you can come out now, you can, you can be yourself again, but a lot of people do struggle with that, where they lose that completely, they can never find that, and you get people who can find that, and when you do find that, it's, it's a gift in itself, because You know, you have the opportunity to to kind of fix what what might have been broken, whether by your innocence or by somebody else's, you know, advantage that that might have taken advantage in one way or the other.

[00:09:50] So it's it's it's a very powerful transition. And I think, um, you know, a lot of people ask me where my confidence comes from, and I'm still I'm still asking that question. [00:10:00] And I think my confidence comes from the fact that I've learned that people speak. speak from experience. Yes. 

[00:10:05] Savia Rocks: You know, 

[00:10:05] Dr Maria Edunsin: everything you do, you are speaking, you are doing it based on the experience.

[00:10:10] And you know, we always say that you don't, you can't give what you don't have. So, you know, for you to be supportive of other people, you would have had to support yourself in one way or the other for you to heal another human being. You don't have to heal yourself because how would you? relate to them?

[00:10:27] How would you support them through that? You 

[00:10:29] Savia Rocks: know what? I completely love that answer. I think that's one of the best answers I've had on the show. 

[00:10:37] Dr Maria Edunsin: Wow. Okay. 

[00:10:38] Savia Rocks: It is definitely one of the, because you've covered so many different narratives of how people see themselves. Trauma is a major part of why people become who they are, Or whether or not they can heal themselves to be the best version of themselves.

[00:10:57] I'm so happy you said all that. Thank you. [00:11:00] Thank you. How do you find vulnerability? as a strength to help you be consistent in your impact with people and helping to create change in environments around you. 

[00:11:17] Dr Maria Edunsin: Thank you again. Another, um, inspiring question, because as soon as you said that the first thing that came up for me was to just be human.

[00:11:25] Yes. You know, in the first instance, just be human, you know, without, um, you know, Without being distracted with, with, with everything that you just mentioned, but first of all, be human so that you understand that we are, we do have weaknesses, we, we can all be vulnerable in one way or the other, whether people see that or not, it's a different ballgame, you get people who can show that and you get people who don't know how to show that, and you get people who struggle to express that or explain that.

[00:11:52] And they keep that, you know, within and they keep that isolated and that, that in itself is another, you know, I always say that, [00:12:00] you know, we were taught that trauma was just a big event. It was just maybe you, you experiencing or witnessing a car crash or experiencing, you know, a rape, a rape, a rape experience.

[00:12:13] But something as simple as a word can trigger something that happened in the past. And that in itself is a form of trauma because. You're calling that memory back or something as simple as. You know, an abuser whose name was Michael, for example, and you know, um, you know, you've what you're working on yourself as a, as a, as a client, for example, and then you go to, you go to Asda, you go to Tesco and somebody just walks past and they're on the phone and they say, no, Michael, stop it.

[00:12:43] Savia Rocks: It just instantly gets you. 

[00:12:46] Dr Maria Edunsin: Instantly, you, you, you know, we go into this mode of anxiety, flight or fight, and you wonder whether are we talking about the same person? Is that person here? And we become very, you know, aware of our environment because of that one word. [00:13:00] So, you know, I think it's very important that in everything that we do, we, we help ourselves by understanding that, you know, we don't, we don't have to be strong all the time.

[00:13:08] I would say to, you know, people that being strong all the time. Has a psychological effects as well. Yes, you know, smiling every day. Your jaw will be hurting because as humans, we are not, we are not, we don't have to. We need to learn to balance our emotions and regulate. Our feelings in terms of emotions such as anger, such as tears, such as fear, such as anxiety, all these emotions we need to learn to, you know, manage it and know when to use it and understand why it's coming up for us as individuals.

[00:13:44] I think it's very, it's a very, very powerful question. Again, I could go on and on. with that question. I don't mind, honestly, I really don't mind.

[00:13:56] But yeah, um, yeah, I hope that answers your question. 

[00:13:59] Savia Rocks: No, it [00:14:00] definitely does. Before I get into the profession of what you do, one of the questions I do like to ask is, because we are always busy doing what we do, we're running around and And, you know, we have family life and then you have professional life.

[00:14:16] How do you balance your professional life and your family life, especially with family responsibilities and professional responsibilities to know the balance between two, between the two for yourself and for your family? 

[00:14:33] Dr Maria Edunsin: I think the word for me there is resilience in terms of understanding every, every, every environment you're in.

[00:14:40] The moment you're in a working environment, you know, we almost have this, uh, you know, I have this, uh, you know, this symbolism that, um, I'm a woman with many hats. I'm a mother of four children. Um, I, I'm a CEO. I'm a director. Um, I'm a, I, I'm a woman of God. I'm in the ministry. And, [00:15:00] you know, that is that, that, that is a different platform completely.

[00:15:05] Um, and you know, the representation there is very high. The expectation there It's also very high. So, but you know, in every, you know, for example, I'm coming from work. As soon as I walk in, I hear mommy and automatically, automatically, as soon as you walk in, as soon as I walk into through the door from that word, mommy, my mommy has comes off and comes on.

[00:15:29] I'm a counselor. Heart drops off. It drops off at the door. It probably dropped off when I left work. Um, but as soon as I, you know, just to confirm, trust me, when you walk in, There will be this, this atmosphere, this energy that will come at you, whether they're, whether they're upstairs or downstairs, whether they're shouting or not.

[00:15:49] You know, that you've walked into a house where somebody else needs you. Yeah. Um, and, and for me, that's where self-care is very important. Um, and, you know, little things that we do take for granted, like [00:16:00] resting and sleeping. Yeah. You know, the, it's so powerful. It's very refreshing and, and it's funny as, as busy as I am.

[00:16:07] Nobody knows how much I sleep. I sleep. I don't joke with my sleep. You know, people, people honestly, you know, if people see me in, in, maybe in, in a different town or in London or in anywhere and they say, Oh my God, like you came, you know, wow, I thought you were too busy to come. I'm like, no, yeah, I'm here because I wanted to be here.

[00:16:29] And I'm like, I could be in my bed, you know, but it's fine. I'm here. So as much as people think I'm, I am, I am a busy person. But I, I look after myself. I have to look after myself because I know how many other people needs me. And, but obviously, like I said, I need to make sure that I'm okay. And I think for me traveling as well, I travel a lot.

[00:16:48] And that for me is just a form of, of, you know, changing the environment, therapeutic, you know, kind of, Self care for me and just refreshing and seeing the world from different perspectives, seeing people, [00:17:00] meeting people from different worlds of life. You know, it's funny as a, as a counselor, you know, I always say that the clients don't understand how much they are teaching me by allowing me into their world, you know, so, um, and I, and I'm learning every day.

[00:17:15] I am absolutely learning every day. And for me, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a passion. it is a passion just to, you know, be there for another human being to share that with you. And, and, and it's a privilege as well. 

[00:17:28] Savia Rocks: Yeah, no, I totally. And you have the word resilience comes back into mind when you talk about, which I, which I am definitely going to ask you, you know, about you being a counselor and a psychotherapist.

[00:17:40] Cause even before we started recording, I remember You know, we, we touched on the share fact of the qualities that we have to have in order to be a psychotherapist patients, understanding the resilience again, and all these things that humanitarian part of you has to come [00:18:00] out and be alive, that sympathetic, the compassion.

[00:18:02] So please do talk to me about your journey in becoming a counselor. Number one, but also a psychotherapist. Number two, 

[00:18:13] Dr Maria Edunsin: Okay. Thank you. Um, it's funny that you know, sometimes we ask questions and we ask ourselves questions and that question will lead you to, you know, where you are. For example, one of the things I grew interested in was the behavior of human beings.

[00:18:31] The behaviors of humans were completely different to the words of their mouth. So it was like, you know, you're telling me you love me, but you're not showing me you love me. You know, and you know, and then I grew into this interest of love language and understanding how each person expresses. certain areas.

[00:18:51] And then I, you know, I started going. I did a bit of research on psychology. I did psychology. I did sociology. Um, and, you know, I just kind [00:19:00] of fell in love with psychology and I was very intrigued by the human mind and the human behavior and how sometimes it didn't connect. You know, and then other times it does connect.

[00:19:09] I think now we have found through research that, you know, your cognitive processes, what your thought processes are, what you're thinking about will ignite your body to respond in such manner. 

[00:19:20] Savia Rocks: For 

[00:19:20] Dr Maria Edunsin: example, if you, if you're, if you're fearful of going swimming, for example, there'll be no motivation to leave the house.

[00:19:29] Let alone get into the water, you know, you know, that kind of thing. And automatically there'll be that, that behavior pattern of avoidance. You avoid that because it's like, I'm going to John, I'm going to drown. You've already kind of, you know, failed before you started. So you know, I'm very mindful of how the mind works and the human mind is such a, a, I don't know, the word I'm looking for is divine.

[00:19:55] And scientifically unresolved, you know, we know [00:20:00] that there is. There's always a light bulb moment, but nobody can see it. We can feel it. And, you know, everybody has that, that experience when you feel like, Oh, that's, that's an idea. You know, that something just came to me and, you know, something just kind of downloaded into me and you're wondering, okay, I don't know where it came from, but it's a good idea.

[00:20:18] We just go with it, you know, we just go with it. And so I, you know, I went, I went to East Suffolk university and I did my degree in. You know, counselling and psychotherapy, the professional practice routes. Um, and the psychotherapy part for me is, is, is really focusing on the psyche, focusing on your psychological wellbeing.

[00:20:40] Um, and for me, that is, is, is so powerful that it's very, very different for, for every human being. It's, it's, you know, how every human being is almost wired or function is very different to each other. We have this collective mindset and we have this collective mentality, maybe based on, on [00:21:00] religion, based on the same, you know, expectation of society and every country has that.

[00:21:05] Every country has a completely different energy. of their mentality and that's how they do things, you know, um, but it's, it's, it's the beauty for me is that as much as we are all individuals, we are still collective. Yes, we are. It's, it's a very, very, um, phenomenal thing where we are all one. We know we're one.

[00:21:27] But how can we be one within that and still be one by yourself? You know, there's a connection. There's a link there. So I was very intrigued with that mindset and I grew into, I grew a lot of interest in philosophy. Um, and I just read a lot of philosophical things and I, and I've just been opportuned. to just have in mind that, that, that questions.

[00:21:53] And I think people who question will get the answers they're looking for. You know, some people don't want to know they're not interested, [00:22:00] but when you have questions, You are going to look for the answer. Whether you're satisfied with the answer or not, that's another board game. But you know, just just the strength of I want to know how this works.

[00:22:12] I want to know how to build this. I want to achieve this. I want to set a goal and achieving that, you know, it's all part of the therapeutic work that we do. 

[00:22:21] Savia Rocks: See, I love that. I completely love that. And it kind of leads me on to my next question of how do you integrate your understanding of human rights and social justice?

[00:22:32] justice, um, into your therapeutic practice. 

[00:22:38] Dr Maria Edunsin: Yeah. You know, this is where I think that question comes in in terms of we have a lot of clients that we've worked to that would say, you know, just tell me what to do. You know, just, you know, you tell me what to do. What am I supposed to do? And we always have to emphasize on the on the ethical boundaries or I'm not here to tell you what to do.

[00:22:56] I'm here to help you find the answers and giving [00:23:00] them that autonomy back, giving them that human rights back. As an individual, you have a right to make a decision for you without feeling pressured by society or situation or by environment. So I think it's very important that people are mindful of that.

[00:23:15] We need to be very, very mindful. And, you know, for me as as an advocate as well, you know, someone who who does want, you know, what is what is right and what is just, um, you have to really sometimes put your personal Emotion to the side because it can be two things. You could either do it passionately or you could do it aggressively.

[00:23:38] Savia Rocks: Yes. 

[00:23:39] Dr Maria Edunsin: Um, um, aggressively is, uh, it won't work. I'm someone who's very intentional and I've learned that, you know, sometimes our, our intentions are good, but our approach is wrong. You know, our intentions are good. Some people's intentions are good, but the way they approach it. And I've learned that [00:24:00] with communication, there's.

[00:24:01] There's a certain communication, um, approach that you can use for Mr. A and Mr. B. You're saying the same thing. It's just how you said it and how they've interpreted it and how they've received it, how they've interpreted it depends on what they were thinking before, what they're going through, what they've experienced in their past, what their mindset is, what their mentality is.

[00:24:23] That would affect how someone receives. A communication from you. So that's just another example of your question. 

[00:24:30] Savia Rocks: No, it does. It actually triggered another question in me, actually. So, for example, so for I get excited when I poop that light bulb. So for example, When you're working with a client, I know you can't speak specifically about, you know, what you do to clients is absolutely fine.

[00:24:49] But when you're working with a client, for example, say, for example, they have autism or they neo diverse, or you know, they have mental, their mental state of [00:25:00] mind is not like, quote unquote, the normal person. How do you react and emotionally develop that compassion to be able to understand them and their way of emotionally being able to say?

[00:25:13] So, for example, like we said, it's not what you say. It's how you say it. That has an impact on a person. How do you handle that? 

[00:25:21] Dr Maria Edunsin: I think this is where, um, I think person centered, um, therapeutic approach is very important, which is the kind of counselor that I am. I'm, I'm person centered, I'm also training CBT, and I'm very holistic in, you know, in how I approach, um, any of my therapeutic work.

[00:25:37] But one thing I love about person centered is the fact that You know, every session is so unpredictable that if you're someone who's self aware, um, a counselor that, that doesn't need to work so hard must be personally self aware because by doing that, you can easily pick up on energy, on vibes. on, on, [00:26:00] on that person's persona, that person's pain, as soon as they walk in, as soon as you meet them, you know, and, and you're checking in with them and asking, you know, where are we today?

[00:26:10] Who's this? You know, who woke up this morning? Who came into the session today? Allowing that client to be their individual self and let them, they will bring that to the session anyway. They will bring that to therapy and you have to wait for that because you don't know who's going to walk through the door, you know, and name.

[00:26:30] That's going to walk through the door, you know, an idea of a client that's going to walk through the door. Um, and you know, you have all this maybe on paper or you have this just from your first initial assessment in terms of your, your first therapeutic introduction session. But then going forward, every session, I always tell my client that, you know, they should always not feel like they need to bring something to therapy.

[00:26:57] Sometimes, you know, it's not about, um, actually, I [00:27:00] don't think there's anything wrong. Just the fact that you don't think there's anything wrong, we can still explore that 

[00:27:05] Savia Rocks: so 

[00:27:05] Dr Maria Edunsin: that you can be grounded in that and continue to know how to access that feeling again. If, if not, you know, people have this, you know, this perspective and this, there's this stigma around and around counseling that it's when there's something wrong that you need counseling, even if something is right.

[00:27:24] And you're questioning that. And you're wondering that things are, this is too good to be true. What's going on here. And why am I feeling that way, why am I feeling that is too good to be true. Don't I deserve this. So these are ways of explaining that by allowing the client to be themselves and feed off that as a counselor, explore that and prepare for that no matter what we have to constantly prepare for the, for the unpredictable.

[00:27:52] Savia Rocks: It's so mad that you say that because I, I've spoken to so many different therapists and psychotherapists and their mental state [00:28:00] are all different. All of you guys. the way that you think is completely different from one another, but you still have a certain strategy that you use to implement things and to understand people that connects, you know, that connection that you were talking about, that's still there.

[00:28:20] And I, it's so, it's so bizarre, but at the same time, it's wonderful to, to think about and see. 

[00:28:28] Dr Maria Edunsin: Yeah. 

[00:28:28] Savia Rocks: Cool. Thank you. That's why I say, 

[00:28:30] Dr Maria Edunsin: you know, being a counselor, it's. Anyone that thinks it's a job, I don't know where that mindset comes from. It's for me, it's, it's a calling. It's so that you have it or you don't, it's, it's something that has to come from the core of you as an individual, as a self.

[00:28:46] And, you know, this is where we, we always reference that, you know, we, even if anything comes up for us, you know, you know, through the sessions, we always have to stay in the, in the client's frame of reference, meaning You know, acknowledge that, that, [00:29:00] oh, what that client just said, oh, they might as well make that.

[00:29:02] But 

[00:29:03] Savia Rocks: you, 

[00:29:03] Dr Maria Edunsin: you need to acknowledge that and just say. Okay, put that, put that right back and come back to the client and just say, I reckon that, you know, just go back to the client's frame of reference and then we take that to supervision and then we take that to our supervisor and say, you know, I had this session and it triggered this for me and then I will explore it there.

[00:29:24] But within that session, I am still present for my client and I'm still there and acknowledging that. you know, I want to be there. Not that I've drifted off. If that makes sense. 

[00:29:34] Savia Rocks: No, it totally makes sense. I've, I've, I've, I've been to therapy. I'm happy to say I've been to therapy. I think therapy is good for everyone, you know, regardless of, like you say, you could be in a brilliant position in your life, but still question the reason why you're there.

[00:29:49] And with, with my therapist, I had, it was quite funny. She got really emotional. And like you said, you know, you have to try [00:30:00] and stay in your present mindset and stay with the client. But sometimes it can be quite hard. 

[00:30:09] Dr Maria Edunsin: Yeah, it can, you know, and this is what makes us human and this is a human, human to human interaction and that congruence, you know, that, that, that genuine genuity of the fact that I am with you.

[00:30:22] And in that moment, maybe she felt, she felt what you were saying or she felt your emotion. And you know, it was, it was, it was, I mean, when we talk about a therapeutic relationship, we are, we are really talking about when the client and the counselor become one in terms of, you know, they are in the same mind space.

[00:30:41] And for the client, it's a good thing for them to know that my counselor understands, 

[00:30:46] Savia Rocks: yes, they don't 

[00:30:47] Dr Maria Edunsin: have to have seen it or experienced it, but they understand for you to understand, you must first listen. Yes. If, you know, if they don't understand, you wonder whether, did they even listen? They truly listen and you [00:31:00] know, and that connection becomes very beautiful when, when, when the emotion is kind of transferred.

[00:31:05] But again, there is a bit of a ethical boundary there as well. . Yeah, definitely. 

[00:31:11] Savia Rocks: One of my favorite questions that I like to ask is, what is the common misconception about your field that you would like to clear up? Do you remember what you said, Dr. Maria? 

[00:31:22] Dr Maria Edunsin: Yes, I do. I do. Go for it. Go for it. . I said that, you know, um.

[00:31:28] Again, clients feel like, you know, the, we are, we are there to tell them what to do. We are there to give them advice and, you know, they want to come to us for answers. And, and this is when a lot of clients do get fed up or individuals get fed up with, with life itself. And they don't want to think for themselves.

[00:31:44] They want to, they want somebody else to do that for them. But, you know, they want to put that responsibility on somebody else. But then again, we live in a world where, you know, as humans nowadays, we, we are now learning and we should be learning that everybody needs to take accountability for their lives for themselves.[00:32:00] 

[00:32:00] They, you know, you know, they have to look after themselves and we need to, you know, you can't even, you know, it's fine. You can have a, you know, a therapeutic relationship with a client for, one to two years, and that could be off and on. But at the end of the day, you cannot still depend on a client, on a counsellor.

[00:32:18] For the rest of your life, they will, their true counselor will make sure that you can self self regulate and become self sufficient for yourself. That is, that is the calling for to guide you to find yourself. And I've learned that a lot of people come to, you know, counseling because they know the answer.

[00:32:38] They just want somebody else to confirm it so that they don't feel, they don't feel that, you know, so that they don't feel that they're making it up or maybe there's something wrong or you know, um, and, and they're not in their right state of mind. But when it's like, well, okay, what, you know, for example, the client said, what she did was wrong, right?

[00:32:56] I'm not just making this up. Do I have a right to feel this way? And, you know, [00:33:00] as a counselor, you can say, if that's how you feel, you know, we have to own up even to our feelings. Because if your human body is telling you that I felt like I was, I was, I was maltreated, or I felt insulted, I felt embarrassed, it's one thing to feel it, it's another thing for your body to actually physically show it.

[00:33:22] Savia Rocks: Exactly that. 

[00:33:23] Dr Maria Edunsin: And when those two agree, then it's real. 

[00:33:26] Savia Rocks: It's funny because I was doing my research. I don't know if the research is the same figure now, but I remember when I was doing my research, they said that only 7 percent of what you say It's actual 93 percent is your body language. It was something like that at the time.

[00:33:47] It could have changed now, but it's so bizarre to know that, for example, even if I'm talking to you now, it's like my body is saying something else. Even when you're talking, it's like your body is [00:34:00] saying something else. So I know that you must read that within your clients that. you know, you work with on a daily basis.

[00:34:07] How does that make you feel? And does some, does that feel intimidating to the client or to yourself? Sometimes it's, it's just a random question that just popped in my head. Does it feel intimidating sometimes to both you or the client when, when they say something, you're like, that doesn't sound a hundred percent correct.

[00:34:26] How does that feel to you? 

[00:34:29] Dr Maria Edunsin: I think as a counselor, you know, you have to be very observant. I think, you know, people who, who, End up being, you know, good at what they do as a counselor from a very young age. They would have been constantly observance. And, you know, through that, you can really pick up things very quickly.

[00:34:46] You know, you can pick up somebody standing next to you. You're not looking at them, but even the way they're standing, you can feel something. You can feel whether somebody is angry. next to you. And then you're [00:35:00] thinking, what's up with you? You know, are you okay? What's going on there? You know, and funny enough, um, one thing I've learned about, you know, um, my job in the last four years is that a lot of people struggle with silence and this, and a lot of people struggle with silence and silence is so powerful because silence says a lot.

[00:35:27] You know, if you have this divine ears. You can hear even in the midst of silence, you know, um, I've had a client before and, you know, young person felt that, you know, she didn't want to be there. She's just not going to say anything. Is it okay? Can I just sit here? I said, yeah, you can. I said, of course you can just, you know, we'll sit without silence.

[00:35:50] And I was thinking to myself, you know, eventually when the silence is becomes too long, somebody will become more comfortable. Yes. But I, [00:36:00] I love silence. And I've, I've, I just, for me, it says a lot. So, you know, we sat there for a good 15 minutes and then they became uncomfortable because I've, I've just gone to master that.

[00:36:12] They became uncomfortable. And, and then I said, can I speak? And you can just listen. And they said, yes, that's fine. And I said, you know, with the way you're, with the way you're sitting, you're telling me this, with the way your hair looks, you're telling me this. And, you know, everything, the way you walked in, you're telling me this, you know, the client was forced to say, how'd you know that?

[00:36:36] And I said, this is the energy you're giving me. This is what you're telling me without speaking. Um, and then, you know, I said quite a lot of things and, but I was like, I remember I said so many clients, but, you know, and then at the end of it, she said, are you a witch? A good one.

[00:36:55] It was like, like, how did you know? I was telling, I [00:37:00] was asking these questions as well, but it was a way of getting the client to speak and, you know, to interact and engage. But, you know, it got to a point when it's like, yeah, what you just said is right. Well, how did you know that? I didn't say anything. I said, you don't need to say anything.

[00:37:13] Savia Rocks: It's a spiritual intuition as well. 

[00:37:16] Dr Maria Edunsin: Yeah, yeah, you know, that, that spiritual awareness is very important. Again, it's either you have it or you don't, but, um, because of my calling in the ministry, I have that with the grace of God. Um, and I'm just so blessed and I'm so grateful that. You know, both my role and my calling, they just, they just merge into one and it makes it so easy for me to work with anybody because, you know, one of my, I don't know whether you have a question for me in terms of any of my challenges.

[00:37:48] I can hold this next one. No, no, 

[00:37:50] Savia Rocks: no, no, no. Keep 

[00:37:51] Dr Maria Edunsin: going. Okay. That's fine. That's fine. You know, um, so one of my questions that I get asked maybe a [00:38:00] job interview is that, Oh, I can see that you're a Christian. Um, are you willing to work with LGBTQ? I'm like, yeah, I do not humans. You know, if, if we're talking about working as a human, we are talking about for me, the way I see humans and individuals.

[00:38:19] I, I, I don't know how, but I have stripped away everything else. I've stripped away sex, I've stripped away gender, I've stripped away culture, I've, I've stripped away background and upbringing and, and, and even trauma. Because before we can even start to bring all that into the room, I need to know you. But if, and that's if, and that's if you know you.

[00:38:42] If you don't know you, I will know that you don't know you because I'll be able to tell you that, you know, and for me, and I know the same Bible says thou shalt not judge. So who, you know, that, that is not my job. My job is to see beyond the physical person that is in front of me. And that is to see the [00:39:00] inner self.

[00:39:01] Savia Rocks: You know what? I'm so glad you said that. I'm so glad you said that. And that's what makes you a humanitarian. A humanitarian is exactly that. A person that doesn't. Which actually leads me to my next question as well. So, I always ask this question because it is so powerful in the way it's formed in the answer that I receive.

[00:39:23] So judgment, the word judgment, it's always there. We are always getting judged by how we look, by what we say, how we are articulate ourselves in the world, how we present ourselves. To the world and to people, if there was no word judgment in the dictionary, what do you believe that you would have done differently in your life?

[00:39:54] Dr Maria Edunsin: Wow. You know, I'm someone who I've grown to be [00:40:00] contented. 

[00:40:01] Savia Rocks: I 

[00:40:01] Dr Maria Edunsin: like that. And because of that, I don't think I have any, I don't think I have any regrets. I don't, I think, I think everything I've been through is for this moment. It builds up to who you are the you know, we are we are. We are so many puzzles and pieces of a puzzle and when it will become one.

[00:40:25] I always talk about the bigger picture. The bigger picture is bigger than you yourself. Tell me about it. You know, the bigger picture is bigger than you yourself and you are a piece of the puzzle. And the day you realize that you understand that. Okay, we all have something to give. And if we all give it together.

[00:40:46] in one unity, in one mind, in one spirit, it will make sense. Um, so I think for me it's, it's very important to acknowledge that judgment for me, I, you know, [00:41:00] another word I would use for judgment is assumption. Yes. Assumption. In this day and age, people are very quick to assume I think we've moved away from judgment now.

[00:41:11] It's like, you know, assume they've just concluded that, you know, Oh, you know, obviously judgment is still in the, in the, in the foundation of that, but they've completely decided for you. They've completely decided for you. Yeah, 

[00:41:27] Savia Rocks: no, they definitely do. And sometimes it's just about having that compassion for another individual.

[00:41:34] And the word that always comes to mind, and I don't mean it in the way that people take it because people can take this word quite offensive is, is ignorance. It's so funny when you say you're being ignorant. It's not that it. Needs to come across as a defensive way, but people, for some reason, take it as a really defensive.

[00:41:54] They get really upset by it just means the lack of knowledge towards the subject. And it's [00:42:00] just about educating yourself to be able to understand it. And I, and I wish that more people just took the time out just to understand people. a lot better. And that's all it is. And sometimes it's just that patience of wanting to understand the interaction between two people to get to know who they are.

[00:42:22] I think that I think that's powerful. Yeah, it is. 

[00:42:26] Dr Maria Edunsin: I did a, um, a TikTok video recently and something dropped in my spirit and I was talking about respecting people's stories. It's the same thing as respecting people's boundaries, respecting people's privacy, respecting people's trauma, respecting people's pain, respecting people's experience, because it is their experience for a reason.

[00:42:48] And unless, even if you were there, you wouldn't have experienced it the same, because you wouldn't have perceived it the same, and you wouldn't have felt it the same. So therefore, respect [00:43:00] people's stories, respect people's lives, respect individuals, respect And, and, and, and that's where ignorance comes in as well, because you have become ignorant of, of other people's story or, you know, rumors or gossip, you assume that that is what it is.

[00:43:18] It can't be more than that. You've made that conclusion, and you've assumed that that person, is what they say that person is. I've had a lot of um, I've had a lot of experiences recently that you know, um, a few people came up to me and said, you know, you're nothing like people perceive you to be, you're, you're nothing like people accuse you of being, you're nothing like people assume you are.

[00:43:44] And I say, I don't know what to say to that because it's like, Okay. Um, you know, you decided not to listen to that and you decided to come and meet me and get to know me. I'm lucky [00:44:00] for you. Welcome to my world. 

[00:44:01] Savia Rocks: Because 

[00:44:06] Dr Maria Edunsin: if you, if you can break that barrier yourself based on what people has created for you and, and somebody else went beyond that and say, no, you know, it's as good as, you know, in my culture, we say things like, you can't call someone a thief if they're not stolen something that belongs to me until I catch them right.

[00:44:25] Well, you know, until I catch them and they stole what belongs to me, then I will conclude that I'm not going to call someone a thief just because people are calling them a thief. 

[00:44:37] Savia Rocks: And that's the thing about being open minded about life. You don't listen to somebody else's story. You know, I don't mean in that sense, you don't listen to somebody else who is Trying to convict somebody or saying that they are the one that done this when they wasn't even there to see it.

[00:44:54] And that, and that happens a lot in the world, especially in the work environment. You [00:45:00] know, there's a lot of politics and a lot of work positions and I'm sure both of us know this. And it's just about you having that open mind to say, okay, you've accused them of this. But it doesn't mean that I'm going to.

[00:45:11] You said this about this person. You said they might be lazy, but let me see if they are. Because the way that they work with you might not be the way that they work with me. 

[00:45:21] Dr Maria Edunsin: Definitely. And this is how people inherit enemies. You know, there's this new phrase I learned from a friend of mine, um, and you know, and we've come to the conclusion that people blindly based on assumption and judgment, they inherit enemies.

[00:45:38] And that is, you know, you have no business doing that. Does that make sense? It's, you know, every, every, everyone who wants to inherit an enemy should keep the enemy to themselves. Don't recruit enemies for other people. And this is where, you know, people don't understand respecting people's privacy boundaries, you know, [00:46:00] and, you know, and, and it leaves a lot of people vulnerable.

[00:46:03] It makes them feel that they have No safeguard around them. No, no shield, no shield. And the minute you put a shield up and you put boundaries up, you know, again, that's a different, a different type of attack in terms of, you know, this person is arrogant. This person is good. This person is proud. But it's like, I will not allow somebody else to hurt me.

[00:46:27] That is a you problem. You know, I could, I could send you to a good therapist for that one. You know, work on yourself before you answer. Judge somebody else. 

[00:46:38] Savia Rocks: You know, when you said you like your sleep, I like my sleep too. So I, I just feel, I like to be able, I like to be able to go to bed or lay my head on my pillow and know that I'm at peace knowing that I have done the best I can for every [00:47:00] individual, giving them the opportunity to just let them be who they are.

[00:47:04] Dr Maria Edunsin: Definitely. Definitely. 

[00:47:06] Savia Rocks: Which I would like to ask you actually, when was the last time that you felt totally at peace with yourself? 

[00:47:12] Dr Maria Edunsin: You know, um, as a believer, um, you know, I mean, if we were to dive into my personal life, um, I mean, which we are, um, as a believer, I, I just, my trust and my faith as, as just never failed me.

[00:47:29] And, you know, when the Bible says, you know, the peace I give you is not of this world, but an everlasting peace. I really hold on to that because I've learned, you know, we, we've been disappointed by people. We've been, um, accused and embarrassed by people. And we just, it's a shame that we live in a world where we can't trust people.

[00:47:47] Um, and you know, which is fine. Um, because at the same time, you don't want to put your life in somebody else's hands because they're not going to guide it the way you will. They're not going to protect it [00:48:00] the way they should. Um, and only your faith can do that for you. And I I'm, I'm very contented. I, you know, I'm Well, I've not always been like this, uh, you know, in terms of, but I think my, my, I remember when I graduated from, you know, University of Salford and, and, you know, we had this last day without our lecturers and everybody was told to speak.

[00:48:22] And I wanted to speak last because I know that when I speak, if we just, sometimes we just start crying, uh, because there was like, why are you so deep, man? Like, I'm like, sorry, it's just how I speak. But, you know, I was, I was applauding the, the, the, the tutors and the lecturers that. You know, for me, the, the, the qualification, the degree, it wasn't about the paper.

[00:48:43] It was the fact that one, I told them, I said, it made me a better mother. It made me a better person. It made me listen, you know, like there's different levels to listening. There's different levels of listening. Um, and I, you know, I just, and I said to them, you know, the work that you [00:49:00] do and, and that day, I think I realized that I told them that the work that you do is not a job, is a calling.

[00:49:05] And I was proud to say I found my calling and, and, and that was it for me. And that I feel like that's when I found my calling and I'm, I've, I've been contented with that. And for me it's, you know, that the fact that I found that and it's true to who I am, I'm at peace with that. 

[00:49:24] Savia Rocks: Do you know what? It's so nice to hear people when they are passionate about what they do.

[00:49:30] There's a lot of people in the world that I have spoken to and. It's, it's really nice to, and it's a beautiful thing to be able to do when you find your purpose in the world. And I love speaking to people because for some reason, The purpose of my voice is to help people or ask them questions that they might not hear before or from somewhere else, but to also let them hear their own answers.

[00:49:59] And [00:50:00] sometimes that brings a spark in them. And I love that it's, it's refreshing. It's teaches me something that I didn't know. It lets me hear your story. So what you've just said about it not being about just a paper is absolutely true. Sometimes it's just about going on the journey and letting that journey take you to different uncomfortable places.

[00:50:24] You know, because sometimes we sit in our comfortability, all this feels nice and then you turn around the corner and it's like, Oh, and definitely. And even though that happens, it's not a bad thing for you. My grandmother always said to me. When God wants you to elevate you or to teach you something, he'll make you feel uncomfortable.

[00:50:46] And then I, and then me and my granny had this joke where we said, I feel uncomfortable all the time. I said, God, God's teaching you a lot. So it's, it's, it's, it's one of those things. [00:51:00] That was my younger days, but most probably you're absolutely correct. But, but now I, I, I think it's refreshing that when I am uncomfortable, I embrace that uncomfortability.

[00:51:13] And it's nice to be able to share that with people when you are uncomfortable, when you feel stuck, don't wallow in that. The door's just closed on me because I've realized in life that when one door closes, they say another one opens. But remember to realize the door is open and don't wallow about humans often.

[00:51:37] And I can say this because I'm sure we've all done it at some point when something happens to us in our lives, we will wallow on the past and the door is open right in front of us and the light is shining through and it's saying walk through just walk through and we naturally don't do it because we're still in that emotional state.

[00:51:57] But once we do walk through, regardless, [00:52:00] like we say, trauma, you know, a relationship, a friendship, all these things, we realize why was I like that? Why was I? In that mindset over there, but like you say, you know, I'm perfectly said it was to teach you something 

[00:52:17] Dr Maria Edunsin: and I think the, you know, for me, I've learned that, you know, we have to be willing to take sacrifices.

[00:52:24] We have to be willing to sacrifice. And, you know, sometimes in terms of the vision ahead of us or the purpose that we, we've been called to, um, you know, just like Joseph in the Bible, when, you know, he saw the vision and they saw the vision, but he didn't, he didn't see these, you know, he didn't see the prison.

[00:52:43] He didn't see that journey. He just saw the vision. And it's like, Oh, you know, we just assume again, that we would, it would just fall on our lap. It just assumed that we could just grab it. 

[00:52:53] Savia Rocks: No, because if it, if it does fall on our lap, we won't appreciate it. We won't have, we won't have [00:53:00] the gratitude for it.

[00:53:01] That's the problem. If I was to say to you, if there was one song that was the soundtrack of your life, because I believe that music plays an integral part in all of us at some point, if there was one song that was the soundtrack of your life, what song would you choose? She's laughing already. And why would you choose that particular song?

[00:53:25] Dr Maria Edunsin: Oh my God, you're not going to believe the song that just came up for me. Maria, Maria, she reminds me of the West Side Story. Yes, because I love the word West Side Story. It has a great storyline to it. It does, it does. And I think, you know, I, I did, I went to theatre school, so. I, I, I'm very familiar with a lot of musical, um, songs that we used back then.

[00:53:54] Um, and that always stayed with me and I just loved it because my name was in it as well. Um, and I [00:54:00] think I remind myself because, I mean, I was named Mary, but I changed it to Maria. Um, and I don't know why, I just didn't resonate with Mary. I just felt that, I just, you know, and, and this was from a very young age.

[00:54:17] From a very young age, I just preferred Maria. Um, and I think that's when I learned that in, in certain cultures and languages, it's the same thing, you know? So I just thought, oh, I prefer Maria. So for me, um, Maria became, became a different person because it, it, it became the person that I, I, I wanted to be.

[00:54:33] I just wanted something to separate. the name that was given by family and friends. And obviously I have a Nigerian name as well, which is also very powerful, but you know, the world knows me as Maria. So, but yeah, that's, that's the song that came up for me right now. Um, and that's funny, because it's a song that we were singing in the office today.

[00:54:55] You know, so I think, I think I need to go back and really [00:55:00] listen to the lyrics again. Um, but yeah, I think, I think our stories is just so divine that everybody should have a right to tell their story. Um, everybody should have a right to express it, to share it, to teach other people. I think one of the things that maybe a lot of people might be lacking Is that they didn't have people to share their story.

[00:55:25] It's just now that people are speaking. It's just now that people are sharing. I mean, one thing I appreciate TikTok for is that we now, I mean, gone are the days when people won't speak. Now people are speaking while they're doing their makeup, while they're getting dressed, while they're, while they're crying.

[00:55:42] People, and it's funny how, even though they just, to them, they're just, they're just turning on their camera. They have no idea how far that video is going. But if those people who are viewing it were standing in a stadium, they would never do that. So it's that comfortability of, [00:56:00] I can do it in a safe space.

[00:56:02] I can do it on my own terms. I can do it in my own way. I can do it in my own comfort. Either way, some people are ignorant of how they, they just throw it out. They just throw it out. If, if you get a million, a million views, would you really be able to stand in a stadium? of a million people and repeat the same words.

[00:56:23] I doubt, I doubt, I doubt that. But I guess in a way it's a good thing because it allows people to be themselves. 

[00:56:31] Savia Rocks: I agree with that. A hundred percent. I agree. I love the fact that you've seen all these things. It is resonating in a good way is resonating. So I only have a few more for you. And I love this question.

[00:56:45] Also, actually, if I was to take you, Dr. Maria, and put you on a desert island for 24 hours and say to you, Dr. Maria, I'm going to leave you there with an activist, with a president and a [00:57:00] musician. Which activist would you choose? Which president would you choose? And which musician would you choose to have a conversation with?

[00:57:09] Dr Maria Edunsin: Oh, wow. Activist. Um, well, can they, can they be dead? They're dead or alive. It's fine. Okay. Okay. Um, Martin Luther, Luther King, um, because he, he was very selfless. And he was very, very selfless and we all know, we all know, we all know his story. I just, there's something about him that was just selfless. So that's that.

[00:57:38] So the reason I say that is because even if we were maybe going to get rescued, you know, and we had to leave someone behind, he probably would sacrifice himself. 

[00:57:48] Savia Rocks: Yeah. I was going to say that, but you took it from me. Yeah. I'm glad you did. 

[00:57:53] Dr Maria Edunsin: Yep. Um, president. Hmm.[00:58:00] 

[00:58:00] Well, it's funny you say that. Um, and I am not really familiar with every president, but one president that stands out for me is that I got the opportunity to be Um, granted a honorary doctorate, um, by Joe Biden, the President of America. And I'm just a little, little on me in Manchester. You know, when I tell people, they're like, how?

[00:58:25] You're not even American , you know? I'm like, well, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Um, and I think just, just having that, um, signature, that letter and just having that acknowledgement for the work that we've done, um, internationally, it means a lot to me. Um, so I think, you know, no matter who's, who's president.

[00:58:45] It happened in his reign and for that in itself, it's enough for me. 

[00:58:50] Savia Rocks: Then we've got to have a musician. Musician, 

[00:58:54] Dr Maria Edunsin: oh wow, musician.

[00:58:59] Savia Rocks: So after you've [00:59:00] had all the serious talk, so you know, you've got Martin Luther, you bring him back from the dead, and then you've got Joe, you've got Joe Biden, you know, and you have like a chilled out, because he's got a chilled out vibe to him as well. Yeah, yeah, 

[00:59:14] Dr Maria Edunsin: yeah. I like calm people. I like calm people.

[00:59:17] I don't want no, no, no toxic people, no negatives. It's just calm, you know, you might fall asleep. I 

[00:59:23] Savia Rocks: think, I think we go through enough in life as it is already. I don't think we need to talk, you know, the toxins within us to, to just, no, no, no, let's leave them 

[00:59:33] Dr Maria Edunsin: there. And they want to share it. So you just have to give it back to the owner.

[00:59:36] Thank you very much. I, you know, I feel with mine. Back to sender. I love that. So musician. I'm, I'm thinking, um, oh, oh yes. Oh my goodness. Oh, my teenage crush.

[00:59:57] because I loved all his songs [01:00:00] and I had all his albums and I dunno what it was about him. I was just a huge fan. So yeah. Craig, David, Craig. David, I love you. I still love you. I love you. 

[01:00:11] Savia Rocks: I think I might have to bring him over to you, you know? I'll just bring him just, yeah, 

[01:00:18] Dr Maria Edunsin: I don't know. I'm just, I just, I just like, I just loved him.

[01:00:21] Savia Rocks: Listen, we all, we all love someone for a reason. 

[01:00:25] Dr Maria Edunsin: Yeah. He made good music, you know, that was music, you know, back in those days, that was 

[01:00:32] Savia Rocks: music. Were you listening to a whole album from start to finish? 

[01:00:35] Dr Maria Edunsin: Yes, I had every single one of his albums, every single one. If I was to think of my favourite song, um, Walking Away, oh, Walking Away for me, um, I, I, I, I can walk away from anything.

[01:00:48] I can, I can walk away from people. I can walk away from negativity. I can walk away from toxic, because my sanity comes first. I need to look after [01:01:00] myself and you know, there's, I always feel like there's so many people out there who needs us and I don't have time for time wasters and distractions. You know, there's people out there who truly need us, who truly need you, you know, that needs somebody that needs serious people.

[01:01:18] Um, and I feel like that's more important than, than people who are just, you know, I don't know. Distractive and wasting time. I feel like there's no, you know, there's so much to be done. There's so much to be done. 

[01:01:32] Savia Rocks: You know what? You know what? I feel that there are so many people in the world, like you say, that don't know themselves yet.

[01:01:40] And it's going to take an extremely long time to find out the reason why I say that is choice. Choice is a massive part of who we become. For example, if you have had bad parents, for example, it just came to my head. If you have bad parents, you [01:02:00] make that choice of the trauma that you've had from your parents.

[01:02:03] So worry or not, you're going to pass that on to the kids. You have choice is everything. Absolutely everything. Yeah. And we carry that with us wherever we go. And just because you feel that you make one bad choice, it does not mean that that's your destiny. You can counteract that choice with a good choice and don't let somebody else judge you based upon that.

[01:02:30] Yeah. So yeah. 

[01:02:34] Dr Maria Edunsin: No, no, no, no, no. After you, I think from that, you know, it reminds me of something. I'm also quite a concept, I think, that I'm really passionate about, or I'm really firm with, which is decision making. You know, um, the, the, the concept of making a decision should be as easy as a light bulb, um, as a, as a switch.

[01:02:57] And, you know, you get people who, who make that [01:03:00] decision and there's no going back. That is a decision. And they make that decision. I see. I want, I do not want to be like my mother. I don't want to be like my father. I don't want to raise my child in that way. I don't want to, it's a decision. And you know, some people are so strong minded that some people misinterpret it as stubbornness, but you know, some people are just so strong, you know, so strong minded that this is what I want.

[01:03:26] And this is what I want. Respect that, you know, um, it's, it's my life. I, I want it for me, not for you. So, you know, it's just what I want. And, you know, but some of the people struggle to make that decision out of fear of the uncertainty, which is fine. It's, it's, it's okay. Um, but you know, people who make that decision and just go for it, they're going into it blindly, but there's power in the fact that no matter the consequences, I made the decision, nobody made it for me.

[01:03:55] And I, I always like to prove a point. I always like to prove that. I have a mind of my own. [01:04:00] I cannot be manipulated. I cannot be bullied. I cannot be, I, I'm, I'm just so, I, I, I don't know how to explain it. I personally, I'm just so secure in what I'm doing, in my purpose, in my calling and where I'm going to be manipulated by anybody else.

[01:04:20] If I give in to you, I choose to give in to you, right? I can take that. I can take that. Yeah. I can take that. Right. But just know that I still had that power. So that decision for me, it's, you know, that decision making that, that making that decision, you know, people who I would say uses as example that, you know, people that smoke and people are encouraging them to stop and yes, we, yes, we are all advocating for good health.

[01:04:46] But again, the approach is completely. Questionable sometimes. Compare that to when that person decides to stop. The people who have been encouraging them to stop will be shocked because they won't believe it. But, [01:05:00] but because that decision came from the person and it came from a place where it was, it was a, it was a switch.

[01:05:06] And once that switch is on, nobody can turn it off. It's, it's a decision. It's a focus. It's a vision. It's just clarity and confirmation for that person. that this is what I want to do. This is what I want to change. But of course, a lot of people struggle with that because they don't have the confidence to do that.

[01:05:24] That's 

[01:05:25] Savia Rocks: it. And that's the thing that takes time. Definitely. Definitely. Before I, I want to ask you a hundred more questions.

[01:05:37] But before. I have the humble pleasure of saying thank you to you. I would love for people to be able to find you on any social media platforms or just any way that you feel that you would like to share so people can find out more about you and what you do. 

[01:05:54] Dr Maria Edunsin: Okay, thank you so much. Um, well, the first place to start is just on Google, [01:06:00] just Google Maria Edison and quite a lot of my digital footprint will come up.

[01:06:04] Um, and I'm on TikTok. I'm on LinkedIn, I'm on Instagram. Um, my NGOs also on Instagram at your pinnacle. Um, on Instagram and on X as well, we are at your pinnacle GI, um, LinkedIn and Maria Edison on TikTok and your pinnacle again, our website is www. yourpinnacle. org. And that is the website for the mental health NGO.

[01:06:32] And that's how we work internationally with other NGOs around the world and collaborate and just, you know, with, uh, That support to each other and offer a free counseling sessions for complex cases for people who don't have the resources to access that I think one of our biggest jobs as well is that we, you know, you know, in terms of Africa changing that narrative and changing that stigma around, you know, Mental health, that mentality, you know, other things like [01:07:00] that in Africa is still kind of doing spiritual.

[01:07:02] Yes, we, you know, some people, yes, there is an element of that. But at the same time, God is not going to come down and fix anything. He has already put people in place to do that. You know, so that's what we want to try to promote and just let people know that we have, there's resources out there and you can access it because you have every human right.

[01:07:24] So you can get more information on that on our website. Um, and also as my counselling directory website is, um, counsellingdirectory. org. uk and you can just type Marie Edmondson and that's where I have my private practice, um, sessions booked and you can just read more about that if you want any private sessions.

[01:07:43] Then I can also, I also do that as well. So, and right now I'm working for, um, a domestic abuse, um, Organization. And we are supporting young people who have witnessed that. I'm really excited for everything I'm doing right now, even though it sounds like a lot. Um, but yeah, we, we move. [01:08:00] 

[01:08:02] Savia Rocks: I know you like your sleep, so I know you get time.

[01:08:07] Dr Maria Edunsin: Upon all that, upon all that, I still get my sleep. 

[01:08:11] Savia Rocks: Let's see. It's a balance that you found your balance and purpose. And, and this is definitely. Where I say, Dr. Maria, I put my hand on her and I say, thank you so much for taking the time to tell your story, for being who you are, for showing your humanity, your humanitarian side, for showing people that life is a choice and it's based around your choices and nobody else's, but also authentically without any judgment, telling your story to the world in your way.

[01:08:45] Thank you so much for coming on the Yes People podcast. 

[01:08:48] Dr Maria Edunsin: Thank you so much. I've had so much fun. It's been a pleasure to meet you and a delight to speak to you have a wonderful voice, by the way, and it's just so calming and soothing. And, you know, [01:09:00] I felt really comfortable. So thank you so much. And yeah, I wish your platform more success.

[01:09:06] And yeah, I'm looking forward to everything that the future has to cook for you. And I hope we can work together the more we are in the future as well. So it's nice to meet you again. And thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for the opportunity. 

[01:09:17] Savia Rocks: You are more than welcome. I think that's one of the best thank yous I've ever got.

[01:09:21] No, no, I can't. No, come on. I, I'm one of the things in life is humbleness is key. But you know, in life, when you get a thank you, that is genuine. And although yes, we get thank yous, we know when it's a spiritual thing. It's hard to explain, you know, do you understand where I'm sure you do without me even having to explain.

[01:09:48] There are things where you know where it comes from and I just want to have that gratitude to you. So thank you so much for doing that. So this is guys. I want to thank you so much for listening [01:10:00] to the ask people podcast. And please remember you can subscribe and leave us a review on Spotify, iTunes, Google Play, or any other platform that you prefer listening to.

[01:10:09] Please also connect with us every Tuesday where we air a brand new podcast. Podcast for you to listen to. You can go into the Sav U Roc's website or simply go to the Us People podcast website, where you can see the inspirational stories. You can hear the inspirational stories and where every month we congratulate.

[01:10:33] One of the podcasts to celebrate who they are, what they do and how they have shared their story with us. You can also donate to the US people podcast by simply again, going to the US people podcast website. And this is where I say to you guys, thank you so much for listening. Stay happy, stay positive.

[01:10:51] And as always, please continue. To [01:11:00] be kind to one another. Take care. Wow. Wow. 

[01:11:34] Dr Maria Edunsin: That was wonderful. Wow. Thank you so much. That was wonderful. That was wonderful. Um, yeah, it's real. Thank you. Thank you. So nice to meet you. And I'll definitely be in touch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know it's like, you know, I've done my best and you know, I'm, I'm fulfilled.

[01:11:56] I'm okay. Okay. Spread 

[01:11:59] Savia Rocks: your [01:12:00] wings and let the wind fly. Fly like I'm Superman. Spread your wings and let the wind fly. Fly like I'm Superman. Spread your wings and let the wind guide you high Spread your wings and let the wind guide you high We're just soaring through this journey, leaving fear far behind Our hearts are full of courage, you can win if you try Redirect the S to you, you'll see the power in us if you try I'm fly like I'm Superman Spread your wings and let the wings fly.

[01:12:52] I fly like I'm Superman. Spread your wings and let the wings fly. I fly like I'm [01:13:00] Superman. Spread your wings and let the wings fly. I fly like I'm Superman. Spread your wings and let the wings fly.